it's my life and i will cry if i want to
by tammycote
Summary: what if Sara's story played out a little different. Nysara
1. The wedding

Nyssa stood on the roof of a building in sterling city as the lance/queen wedding went on below. Her men on every other nearby building, acting as security, making sure that no one got through and interrupted the wedding.

'Our men have the wedding surrounded,' explained James, Nyssa's right hand man and one of the few people that she would trust with her life.

'Good, I don't want anything to interrupt this wedding,' demanded Nyssa, not taking her eyes off the scene below her. She could clearly see Oliver standing at the end of the aisle, fidgeting as he waited for his bride to arrive.

She could also clearly see his team sitting among the other guests, looking they didn't spend every night fighting the under belly of this city, especially to the cops that where sitting on the other side of the aisle.

'Are you sure that this is a good idea?' Wondered James, standing just behind his best friend. Watching with Nyssa as the wedding march started and the guests stood as the bridal party started to make their way towards the alter.

'I just needed to see them one last time,' replied Nyssa, as she took one last look at the woman she loved and their 4 year old daughter.

'6 months,' James reminded her, '6 months and this should all be over,'

'They are better of without me,' said Nyssa, the sadness only clear to someone who had know her their whole life. 'Being here is what they need. Look how happy they are...they need this...they need their family.'

James took into account that they where currently alone and could therefore be blunt 'You're their family to...that girl loves you, I mean why else would she put up with all your crap for the last 5 years.'

'James...' Started Nyssa angrily but he interrupted her once again.

'Nyssa you need to get your head out of your ass and ask that girl to marry you because she is the only person that has ever truly made your happy.' Replied James, before he walked away leaving Nyssa to follow behind him at her own pace. After taking one last look as Oliver and laurel exchanged vows.


	2. The bridel shower

Sara stood to the back of the crowd as she watched Laurel open her presents. Today was Laurel's bridel shower and while Sara really was trying to get into the mood and be excited for her sister. At this very moment Sara would give anything to be back home with Nyssa, curled up on their sofa watching Disney films with Amira.

'You look like you could use this,' said Thea, snapping Sara out of her day dream.

'What?' Wondered Sara, looking at the younger girl, who to her would always be the little girl that used to follow her around.

'Drink' repeated Thea, holding up the drink she had gotten for Sara.

'Thanks speedy,'replied Sara, before taking a sip. Doing the math in her head as she asked. 'Should they actually be serving your alcohol?'

'Ha if I have to put up with the giggling hyenas over there I am going to need some help...' Replied Thea Downing the rest of her drink. 'Plus owning a club has its perks.'

'I forgot how annoying Laurel's friends where,' smirked Laurel, placing her arms around the younger girl. 'One of the perks of letting everyone thinking you are dead.'

'Other than your cutie pie daughter and hot wife,' laughed Thea, before her face fell when she realised what she had said.

'oh my god Sara I am so sorry,' said Thea, as she turned to the other girl. 'I didn't mean...'

'It's fine,' replied Sara, unable to hide the sadness in her voice. 'Nyssa was gorgeous and we loved each other fiercely and totally, but she is gone everyone acting like she never excited will not take away pain of losing her.'

'How has Amira been dealing with her mom's death?' Question Thea, placing her head on Sara's shoulder, offering her any comfort that she could. 'It most be hard for a 4 year old to get her head around the fact that she was never going to see her mom again.'

'She refused to believe that Nyssa is gone and keeps insisting that Nyssa is just gone away for work and that she will be back soon,' explained Sara, looking at her phone for the millionth time, scared in case she missed a call from her father. 'That is why I was in two minds if should have even have left her tonight. Her whole life she has always been with at least on of us.'


	3. The fear

I have have changed the name of nysara daughter.

Sara took a deep breath as she took in the scene before her, after 6 long years she was finally 'home' or what used to be her home. The Sara that left Sterling City 6 years ago doesn't exist anymore, in her place was a 26 year old girlfriend and mother who would rather spend her nights curled up with her family than falling out of some club.

'Mommy I'm hungry,' whined a small voice from the back of the car.

'I know baby,' replied Sara, choosing to speak Arabic that the little girl was talking. 'Mommy is to, I know how about we get something to eat and then go and visit grandpa,'

'Ok I can give him my picture then,' replied the little girl, happy that her mother had once again started the car and her music had restarted.

An hour later and they where once again back in the car after grabbing a quick meal at big belly burger.

'Ok baby girl lets not tell your mama that the first thing I did when we got back to sterling was to take you to a fast food restaurant.' Laughed Sara, only to realise that jet lag had become to much for her little girl, who was fast a sleep twisted into a position that make Sara sore just looking at her. She was always amused at the most uncomfortable places her daughter could fall asleep in.

'Ok dad,' muttered Sara quietly so she would walk the little girl. 'I hope that you are ready for thr biggest shock of your life.'

As Sara drove closer to her old family home she was over come with fear. What if her dad took one look at her and told her that he never wanted to see her again, that he wished that she had died when the gambet went down. But before she could turn around and drive as fast as she could back home to Nyssa, when she knew that she was loved and wanted. Amira made a soft grunt in her sleep, reminding her mother why they where doing this know. Nyssa and Sara had both agreed that Amira deserved to know her family and them her. They had also agreed however that if the lances decided that they wanted nothing to do with Sara and Amira, then Amira would be to young to understand what was going on and the pain of her rejection.


	4. dad

Detective Lance had just finished a 12 hour shift and was looking forward to getting home and relaxing. Plans that was scrapped when he finally arrived home and he realised that there was a car blocking his driveway. A car that once he got closer to, he could clearly see that there was someone in the driver side.

"Hello," said Quentin, knocking on the window to get the person's attention. "You're blocking my drive way."

As the window wand down he could finally see the driver, Quentin thought he was going to pass out. Everything else seemed to disappear as he looked at the one face that he would never see again.

"Sara?" whispered Quentin, feeling like someone had punched him in the gut, "how!"

"Hi dad,"

Stepping back so that Sara could open the door, before pulling her into his arms as soon as she was close enough.

"Sara," whispered Quentin, as he halt his daughter tightly to him, afraid to let him go in case this turned out to be a dream. "How?"

But before he could finish his question he was interrupted by a load cry coming from inside Sara's car.

"Crap," said Sara, as she pushed her father away and opened the back door.

"Shhhhhh," breathed Sara, dropping back into the Arabic that was familiar to both of them. "Its ok baby, mummy's here."

Quentin could do nothing conceal the look of shock on his face as his daughter turned back to him with a small child in her arms.

In the last 6 years, Sara had gone over how this scene would play out and what she would say, but standing here now, the only thing that came to mind was.

"Dad I would like you to meet my daughter Amira," said Sara, placing a kiss on the top of Amira's head.

"Baby girl are you going to say hello to grandpa?"

"No," mumbled Amira, refusing to move her face from her mother's neck.

"Sorry, we have been travelling for over 12 hours," apologised Sara, trying to explain why her daughter was reacting the way she was. "She has actually been really excited about meeting her grandpa. She has drawn a picture of you."

"Let's get her inside," said Quentin, realising that they where still standing in the middle of the street. "We can talk once you get her settled."

"Thanks," said Sara, as she rubbed her daughter's back and placed another gentle kiss on her forehead.

20 minutes later when Sara meet her father in the living room, she couldn't help but notice how much the house had changed since she walked out of that door 6 years ago.

"Daddy," said Sara, gently, not wanting to scare her father anymore that she already had.

"Sara," said Quentin as he jumped up and once again hugged her youngest daughter "how? Queen told use that you died when the boat went down,"

"I think you can call him Oliver," laughed Sara, as she sat down on the sofa, as she tried to get herself mentally ready for the questions that she knew was going to come. "I mean your daughter is about you marry the guy."

"You know about that?" wondered Quentin, unsure hoe Sara was going to react.

"American newspapers and TV stations weren't the only ones that covered the prodigal son's return from the dead," explained Sara, happy to stay on 'safe' topics for as long as possible. "A lot of foreign counties covered the story, as well as their engagement."

"And your ok with it, asked Quentin, needing to know that now that he had both of his daughters back his girls in the same city, he didn't want Oliver Queen to come between them again.

"I made a lot of mistakes 6 years ago but even then I think that I always knew that Oliver and laurel belonged together."

"But are you ok with it," repeated Quentin.

"Yes dad, I'm fine," replied Sara, but when she saw the look of disbelieve on his face she once again insisted "I'm fine with it, really. In fact I have been in a relationship with someone for the past 4 years and she is one of the best things that has ever happened to me,"

"She?" asked Quentin, picking up on Sara's slip right away.

"Yes," replied Sara, slowly, kicking herself mentally. This was really not how she expected her father to find out that she was bisexually and in a loving relationship with another woman.

"Yes her name is Nyssa," explained Sara, her face aglow, Quentin could clearly see that Sara loved this woman. "She's...perfect."

As she said this last statement Sara couldn't help but laugh, she could clearly picture Nyssa's face if she was here to hear Sara describe her as perfect.

"Well perfect for me and Amira anyway," smiled Sara. Nyssa was a safe subject for her as she would much rather talk about the woman that she loved then the hell that she when through before meeting Nyssa. But before Sara could say anything more the pair where interrupted by... "Dad are you here."

Laurel had clearly let herself in as Sara could hear her moving about in the hall. "There is a strange car in your drive way,"

"Laurel," breathed Sara, looking at her father with fear in her eyes. Of all the people from her life here in sterling city, Sara was under no allusion that Laurel would never forgive her for what she had done. But even she did not expect what was about to happen.

"Laurel," called Quentin, we are in the living room."

"We?" asked Laurel, her voice getting louder the closer that she got to them.

"Dad no...," exclaimed Sara, her body filled with fear. She thought she was strong enough for this but she's not, she couldn't face Laurel. She was trapped though so even she wasn't ready there was no where to go as Laurel walked into the room.

"Hi dad," said Laurel, unable to see Sara from where she was standing "did you get a new car?"

"No its mine," said Sara, deciding to bit the bullet and face her sister. "Sara?" whispered Laurel, looking as if she had seen a ghost "how? Oliver told us that you had drowned."

"When the Gambit when down," started Sara, weary still of how her sister was going to react, "I was washed overboard, but I managed to cling onto a bit of wood...that was the last time I saw Oliver. I was drifting for days until I was seen by a passing ship."

"And then what?" asked Laurel, not trying to hide her anger. "You decide that none of us matter enough to you that you could so much as send a text...hi I am still alive...Sara"

"Laurel," started Sara but was shot down by her sister.

"No," snapped Laurel, "for once in your life you are going to listen to what I have to say. This 'family' no longer revolves around you, or what is left of it anyway."

Now that Laurel had started, everything that she had been thinking and wishing that she could say to Sara for the past 6 years all come out.

"Laurel stop," said Quentin, who could clearly see how much this was hurting Sara.

"No dad, she needs to know the truth," shouted Laurel, before turning back to her sister, "she needs to know that it is her fault that you and mom got a divorce. That she is the reason that you started drinking, that you are an alcoholic. That she is the reason that my mother is refusing to go to my wedding, because she claims that it will bring up to many bad memories o f what happened to Sara."

"Laurel," shouted Quentin, trying to get her attention but she once again ignored him as she continued to scream at Sara.

"You know what, I wish that you had really died when the ship wrecked or better yet never had been born."

By this point Sara was crying, tears falling so hard that she didn't notice her daughter rush into the room and start to hit and kick Laurel.

"What the hell," said Laurel in shock as she looked down that the small child that was attacking her, while shouting something at her that laurel could not understand.

"Don't you dare touch her," snapped Sara, grabbing Laurel's arm before she could push Amira away. "Your right I do deserve anything that you throw at me and more. But you never raise your voice or your hand to my daughter."

"Your daughter," asked Laurel, looking between her sister and father in shock. Before Sara had got on that boat with Oliver, she had never been a child person. Preferring to spend whatever free time she had parting and running after boys. Back then laurel would have gone so far as to say that Sara would never had her own children, but as she watched her little sister comfort her daughter, in a language that she didn't understand , Laurel couldn't help but think that she had stepped into some type of twilight zone.

"How old is she?" Demanded Laurel, doing the math in her head, trying to figure out if the girl could be Oliver's daughter.

Sara ignored her sister and instead turned to tell their father telling him, "I need to get Amira back to the hotel, she is tired but I will phone you tomorrow."

As her sister walked past her with answering her question, Laurel reached out and grabbed Sara's arm, pulling it so hard that she almost dropped her daughter.

"HOW OLD IS SHE?"  
>What happened next happened so fast that when asked about it later no one could tell exactly what happened. Only that one minute Laurel was holding Sara's arm and the next minute Laurel was lying on the ground in agony and Sara was rushing out the of the door clutching her daughter to her chest.<p> 


	5. hospital

An hour later a frantic Oliver Queen came rushing into the hospital, after receiving a message from his future father in law to say that Laurel has been in an accident and was currently been treated for a broken arm.

"WHEREISSHE? WHATHAPPENED? IS SHE GOING TO BE OK?" demanded Oliver as soon as he got to the information desk. Not even posing to take a breath.

"Sir I am going to need you to take a deep breath and calm down," explained the nurse in charge of the desk. A lady who after 20 years on the job had seen pretty much everything that you can imagine but even she was taken back to the great Oliver Queen standing in front of her. "Now who exactly are you looking for?"

"My fiancé ADA Laurel Lance was brought in with a broken arm," explained Oliver, his voice trembling with fear. "Her father phoned and told me that they where bring her to this hospital."

"Of course Mr. Queen," said the nurse, as she typed the information into the computer. "Just let me...

4 floors above his head Laurel was currently getting her wrist set and placed in a cast while at the same time deflecting questions on how exactly she managed to break her arm, with out getting her sister arrested for GBH and her niece taken into care.

"This is a really bad break," explained the doctor, as he placed the finale piece of plaster paris on her arm. "How did it happen again?"

"The heal on my broke as I was walking as I was walking into my dad's living room," replied Laurel, trying to bit back the pain that was shooting up her arm.

"It's just that you don't normally see this type of break with a simple fall," said the doctor, as he tried to gently get Laurel to admit that someone had broken her arm.

"I don't know what to tell you one minute I was walking through the door and the next minute I was on the floor and my arm was bent in a way that it really wasn't meant to bend."

"Are you sure that you don't want something for the pain?" asked the doctor, as he watched Laurel griping the edge of the chair she was currently sitting on so tightly that her knuckles had gone white. "This is going to hurt like a bitch for the next few days,"

"I'm fine," insisted Laurel, trying to down play the pain. "I have quite a high pain threshold and if I can help it I don't like to take medication."

She knows that the doctor more than likely could see through her lies but it was the only thing that she could think of without revealing the truth. That 2 years ago she was addicted to pain medication and that it was only Oliver coming home and him making her realise how bad she had gotten, getting her to accept help, that she hadn't lost her job and the fact that the ADA was a drug addict wasn't splashed over the front page of every paper in the city.

"Look I understand that you may want to protect the person that did this to you," the Doctor informed her, bring the topic back to how she broke her arm. "But if you father or fiancé went as far as to break your wrist, how far will they go the next time."

"WHAT," Laurel all but shouted at him, shocked at what he was saying and angry that anyone could think her dad or Oliver would ever lay a hand on her or any woman for that matter. "I already told you that I broke my arm when I fell and if you continue to spread those lies I will have you arrested for defamation of character."

Before anything more could be said the curtain surrounding Laurel was pulled back and Oliver rushed in.

"Laurel..." breathed Oliver, as he rushed to her side as he visually tried to determine what injuries that she had and any of them where life threatening. "What happened? You dad said that you had come kind of accident and that I needed to come here right away."

"the heal of my shoe broke," explained Laurel, as Oliver placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head and drew her into a side ways hug, while making sure that he didn't hurt her anymore than she already way. "And when I fell I landed on my wrist breaking it in two places."

"But you are going to be ok right," asked Oliver, the worry clear to hear in his voice.

"I'm fine," repeated Laurel, gripping Oliver's hand in her good hand. "They are letting me home as soon as my cast has been finished."

"How are you so calm?" asked Oliver, who was really expecting Laurel to be freaking out. "You have a cast on your arm and we are getting married in 2 months?"

"It will be fine,"

Realising that Laurel was not going to go into any more details until they where alone, Oliver decided to change the subject and instead asked the doctor.

"Is there anything I needed know?"

Before joking

"Aside from the fact that I need to dump all of Laurel's heals as soon as I get home," knowing that it would get a raise out of Laurel.

"You dare touch my shoes and you can say goodbye to your suits,"

Both Laurel and Oliver went quite after this as the doctor put the final touches to the cast and explained exactly what Laurel would have to do for the next 6 weeks before telling them that they would need to make an appointment for 2 weeks time.

30 minutes later when they where finally alone in the car and on their way back to the Queen estate.

"Ok what really happened?" demanded Oliver, who knew that the story that Laurel told the doctors was a pack of lies. "I know that you didn't go over on your ankle, I have seen you running in heals a lot bigger then the ones that you where wearing today, better than most people can run in trainers."

"your right," replied Laurel slowly, unsure how she was going to tell Oliver that Sara was still alive, because even though he never mention it, Laurel knew that he still blamed himself for what had happened to Sara. "This isn't going to be easy to hear but I need you to listen to everything that I have to say before you say anything."

"Laurel you are starting to scare me," said Oliver, glancing quickly at Laurel before looking back at the road in front of him. "Who hurt you? Laurel you know that I will do anything I can to protect you,"

"It's not as simple as that," said Laurel, taking a deep breath

"Laurel you are starting to scare me," said Oliver, pulling over the side of the road so that he could give Laurel he full attention.

"Ok," said Laurel, taking a deep breath before starting her story. "What I said before about being at dad's was true. I went there to ask him about dinner tonight, but when I got there he wasn't alone."

"Laurel..."

"Oliver, dad wasn't alone, Sara with along with him," explained Laurel, tears starting to burn the back of her eyes as she fought to hold them in.

"Sara," repeated Oliver, his face going as white as a ghost as he tried to get his mind around what he was being told. "Laurel it can't be Sara, I was there, I could do nothing but watch as she washed overboard. There is no way she could have survived. We where in the middle of no where, there was no why she could have swam to safely"

"She claims that she halt into a piece of debris until a passing show found her." Laurel repeated what Sara had told her. "That's as much as I know."

"That's still doesn't explain how you broke your arm," replied Oliver, still trying to process what he had just learned. "What's Sara coming back got to do with you breaking your arm?"


	6. earthquake

As soon as Nyssa arrive back in Nanda Parbat she quickly and quietly made her way to her father's temple, as she did she couldn't help but wonder again why her father demanded that she come back here, rather than join her daughter and her beloved in Sterling City.

"Finally," snapped Talia, who was relaxing on one of the chairs, her back to the door that Nyssa had just come through. "You where meant to be here an hour ago,"

"Well I am here now," said Nyssa, take the empty seat beside her sister.

"What did you poor little birdie hurt a feather and need you to kiss it better," asked Talia, doing nothing to hide exactly what she thought of Sara. Ever since Sara had come into Nyssa's life, Talia had done everything in her power to break them up. Making sure that everyone knew that Sara was only with Nyssa for her money and that Nyssa was just too blind to release that she was just using her. Hatred that was just made worse when Ra's gave Sara the coveted name 'Ta-er al-Sahfer'."

Now Nyssa had learned a long time ago to let anything that Talia said go over her head, her sister was a bitch whose favourite pastime was pissing her off but 5 years ago Talia got a new target when Nyssa saved Sara and ended up falling in love with her. An added bonus was that Sara was Nyssa's weak spot and Nyssa would gladly kill anyone that dared to lay a finger on her.

With in a blink of an eye Nyssa had Talia pined to the chair, her hands around her neck. "that is the last thing you ever say about Sara, if you go within a 10 mile radius of her or our daughter I will happily snap your neck before you can so much as say 'I'm the Spare',"

"Nyssa leave your sister alone," said Ra's as he walking in to the room, acting as if watching your children trying to kill the other was an everyday occurrence. "You can kill you sister later but right now there are more important things to take care of."

"Father," acknowledged Nyssa, as she sat back down.

"What I am about to tell you must not leave this room," demanded Ra's as he took stood before his children. "It has come to my attention that we have traitors in our mist."

"What?"

"Who?"

"A few months ago a trusted source came to me with evidence that Malcolm Merlyn is planning to destroy a large part of Sterling City." Explained Ra's, this face totally blank, well when you have lived as long as he has you learn to only show to other people what you want them to know.

"WHAT!" shouted Nyssa, angry that her father knowing kept this information from her when he knows that Nyssa's family where currently on their way to possible death. "Sara and Amira are on their way there now; hell they should have already arrived."

"Don't you get it," snapped Talia, "there is more important things there your little birdies, he knows everything about us, who we all are, where this village is, if he gets caught and if he manages to get one person to believe him he could bring us all down with him and then you can say goodbye to you birdies for life because you will either be dead or in jail."

"My source believes that he is planning to set off come kind of bomb," explained Ra's, moving in front of Nyssa so that that her way was blocked. "And that he plans on exposing the league and implicating us in the murders."

"Father I need to worn Sara," pleaded Nyssa, knowing that he viewed love as a weakness but she know that she would never survive if Amira and Sara died.

"I have people watching Ta-er al-Sahfer and Phoenix," explained Ra's, as he placed his hand on his youngest daughter's shoulder. Yes he may not beleave in love but even he knew if Sara and Amira died he would lose his daughter forever. That she would bring down entire countries to get to the people that she believe killed her family. "People that I trust, people that I know would lay down their lives for them without a second thought."

"Father..."

"I have sent word to the original Canary, she and her team will protect you girls," explained Ra's, deciding to go into a little for detail much to the shock of Nyssa and Talia who had grown up hearing the stories of the legends that where the birds of prey. Hearing stories of how the whole team had die in a blaze of glory before they where born. "But I need you and your sister to find the traitor and those among our ranks that would think to join him."

Just then the room started to shake violently almost as if a small child was shaking a toy and they where the pieces inside.

"Take cover," shouted Ra's as he stumbled for the safety of his desk as the room started to crumble around them. Unable to see and having no way of knowing if they got to safety, Ra's had no choice but wait and hope that he hadn't just called his children to their death."

On the other side of the world Malcolm Merlyn sat on his office watching the satellite feed on his computer as the start of his plan played out. Once the Al Grul family where dead he would ascend to be the rightful leader of the League of Assassins and the world would kneel at his feet.

If anyone knows the Arabic word for Phoenix or Harrier can you please let me know, I can only find it online in the Arabic alphabet and I am not sure how to write that on an English computer.

(While google-ing the league of assassins to get the right spelling of Sara's league name and the name of their base, I came across a list of league members; one of them was Dinah Drake. On the same site when I clicked on Sara's name it mentioned that Sara was the daughter of Quentin Lance and Dinah Drake. Sara's mum is a member of the League of Assassins as well, well according to that site anyway...a fact that I decided to use for this story)


End file.
